This Saturday at noon my daughter and I went to Starbucks to eat and drink. We went to spend some time together. We went to do our own things on our hand held devices.
Normally I do not people watch but the woman sitting a few feet from me was on her phone speaking rather loudly. I decided to listen. She talked about egg nog. She talked about missing soap in her bathroom. She talked about having to work later that evening. She talked about God and God being with her. She said thank you for listening and told the person on the other end I will let you go. She did not go as the conversation continued for another five minutes until I heard I love you mom, I have to go now.
I decided to look around at others sitting in Starbucks. There were people sitting by themselves reading, texting on their phone, using laptops and iPads. There were duos and larger units. They were talking with each other and or sitting together but each reading, texting, working on their laptops.
It made me realize how individualistic our society has become. I wonder what it would be like if people simply came to Starbucks with nothing but themselves, purchased their coffee and snacks, sat down and struck up a conversation with the person to their right or left.
As I got back in line to get a refill on my coffee, a woman mentioned to her husband I will order the last pumpkin bread loaf slice. I looked at her and said I wanted that with a smile. She soon realized I was just joking and we spoke for a few minutes in line while waiting.
I will admit, I am an introvert but wouldn’t it be nice if we went to Starbucks and simply talked to each other. I also notice the same thing in church. Some people sit in the pews, listen, sing and simply leave when it is over. I will admit, I too have done this.
Where has the sense of community gone? How do we get it back? To be honest, I have answered my own question. I struck up a discussion in line by taking a chance and saying something that I thought was funny. It worked.
Thoughts? What do you think?
First, in my defense, if I’m at Starbucks on my device I’m most likely actually working. Also, I do tend to be pretty social and chatty. But I recharge myself by being alone. Sometimes being alone includes doing something quiet on my device. Or…I’m people watching…and I pretend to be looking at my device while I’m really creating an elaborate story about someone else in my head.
Onto your comment about church…I get truly sad when people walk out after the service. I want to catch them and say, “Hey, that was only part of being in this community! Now let’s get to know each other!” I feel like I’m missing out. I get that some people aren’t used to or comfortable with that social aspect of a faith community. Growing up catholic there was no socializing. You went, you did your thing, you left. Maybe we should have fellowship time mid-service instead of at the end.
Mari – thanks for sharing your thoughts and observations about both Starbucks and church. I also like to go there to just recharge. Perhaps I will challenge myself again next time to strike up a conversation with someone there.