Misfit Faith: Confessions Of A Drunk Ex-Pastor – Book Review

I received this book for free to review and this post may contain affiliate links

On February 17, I had an opportunity to speak with Jason Stellman.  We discussed Jason’s upcoming book, Misfit Faith:  Confessions of a Drunk Ex-Pastor.

Jason’s forthcoming book, Misfit Faith (Convergent/Random House, March 2017), explores spirituality as displayed by those whose lives are a mess, who don’t have their acts together, and who have every reason to quit believing but (for some reason) can’t.

On his popular weekly podcast, Drunk Ex-Pastors, Jason and his agnostic co-host sit down over drinks and discuss everything from religion to pop culture, bringing their own unique camaraderie to issues both weighty and shallow.

If you are interested in booking Jason to speak, simply send him a message.  Learn more about Jason at JasonStellman.com.

Rich:

Jason, I loved your book.  I read it twice.  It was fun and funny to read.  It was honest.  You state exactly what you feel.  I resonate with much of what you say!  Let’s begin.

You mention in your book:

I’m this close to saying that I used to believe in God, but I don’t anymore, but I can’t. Call me stubborn, but I still do believe in him, despite an alarming amount of evidence that he doesn’t believe in me.

Please elaborate on the evidence that He does not believe in me.

Jason:

I had just gone through four years of wresting with my Protestant faith.  God was not showing up when needed during these struggles.  I had became a Catholic.  I begged God to show up.  There was no answer.  I walked and prayed.  I felt alone.  There was no real help.  Perhaps this is not how God interacts with the world.

Rich:

You mention in your book:

I felt as though I had spent the majority of my life laboring under the burden of being the shining example of spiritual strength and certitude, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to just be, and have the luxury of open – mindedness and the humility to admit that I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about most of the time.

In Leaving behind the hopelessly fragmented religious traditions of my past and embracing a measure of ambiguity and uncertainty about myself and my positions, I’ve noticed that I no longer feel the need to fight, win arguments, hunt heretics, or be threatened by the other.

I imagine this must have felt very freeing.  What advice or tips do you have for those that are having a difficult time transitioning away from certitude?

Jason:

Ambiguity is to be embraced.  We should not be threatened by it.  I was thrust into past leadership roles where I did not have the luxury to not know or doubt.  When I stepped down from ministry I could decompress. I don’t need to know.  It was very freeing to doubt myself.  I can be open to listen and not criticize others views which is too tiring.  When I wrote the first manuscript of this book, it did not reflect who I am.  I defended why I became a Catholic.  I rewrote the book.  This is the book we are now talking about.

Rich:

You mention in your book:

In a word, misfit faith seeks to express in words the last gasp of those who feel like religious vagabonds and exiles with nowhere to call home, who have realized that they will always, ever, and only be fans of spirituality rather than full-fledged members of the team.

Please clarify what you mean by full-fledged members of the team.

Jason:

I feel like an outsider looking in.  People I talk to through the podcast and others as well feel the same way.  Others relate to this struggle.  I just do not feel completely embraced by the church.  Others can receive comfort from my struggle.

Rich:

How do you pray?  What if any spiritual practices do you practice?

Jason:

I never felt I have been good at the spiritual part of this, at doing it right.  At the beginning of the day, I take ten minutes of silent meditation.  I breathe and focus.  I try to think no thoughts.  It is hard!  I also like to take long one hour walks.  I like to think on these walks.

Rich:

You mention in your book:

As elementary as it sounds, it was the fatherhood of God that begin to play the most significant role in my own spiritual transformation, a transformation that left very few nerves untouched and very few stones unturned.

Please further elaborate on how this changed things for you.  What characteristics does a father have?  Is God also like a mother?

Jason:

Let me contrast God as a father with the view of God as creator and judge.  God as creator and judge created us and gave us law.  We have sinned.  We need to be pardoned.  God as a father is comforting.  God is a better father than I am.  God is a Father because he has a son.  If I would not torture my child, how much less would God do so.  Shouldn’t I expect God to be a better father than I am.  This gives me a ton of comfort.  God loves me.

Rich:

You mention in your book:

What is it that makes God God? The answer is simple (albeit hopelessly complex): God is three and one, he is a father who has a son, from both of whom proceeds the Holy Spirit.

How do the three relate to each other and to us?

Jason:

I fall back on the orthodox idea.  The Father eternally generates the Son.  The love between the Father and the Son is the Holy Spirit.  We cannot explain this.  The Son assumed human nature and flesh.  Jesus took humanity and glorified it.  We partake in divine nature.  I don’t know what it means but it is very fascinating.

In my former Protestant days I learned that there was no interaction with God.  God was remote.  God is other.  We connect with covenant.  I now believe that I am a member of the divine family.  This scares people.  It sounds new agey.  God is a Father.  God is Trinity.  This is the best place to start theology.

Rich:

You mention in your book:

No, the Son is a divine person who is assumed a human nature, and his divinity did not swallow up or eclipse his humanity but elevated and perfected it.

How did his divinity elevate and perfect his humanity?

Jason:

Christ was every bit man as God.  One did not swallow the other.  This is beyond my paygrade.  This has massive ramifications.  We do not need to apologize for our humanity.  We need to embrace our humanity.  Christ rose and brought humanity with it.  This changes everything!  There is value in flesh.  For example, Catholicism embraces bread, wine, water.

Rich:

You mention in your book:

In short, there is nothing inherently evil about physical things, and by pitting humanity and against divinity, we will in inevitably muck up the incarnation and in so doing screw up everything else along with it. In a word, matter matters.

Rediscovering the incarnation help me embrace the richness of earth instead of repudiating it as carnal or worldly.

How do you get people to believe this?  Are you saying everything is holy, is sacred?

Jason:

There is inherent value and goodness in creation.  We find God in physical things:  film, movies, sacred space, another person.  Music and art is not bad.  We have something in common with all people.  I am something in common with all people.  I am human.  We can find commonalities with everyone.  We need to build bridges.

Rich:

I love the way you put this:

He wept, got hungry, grew weary, got pissed off at people, and basically ran around being a complete pain in the ass to the religious establishment of his day.

Jason:

It comforts me to think of Jesus as a misfit too.  He rustled feathers and was killed for it.  It is okay to challenge the status quo.  Jesus and all the apostles did so!  Rebellion is okay.

Rich:

You mention in your book:

If we are no longer under the law, I would insist, then that means we no longer have to approach God as fearful subjects or trembling supplicants, but we can boldly approach him as sons whom he loves more than any earthly parents could ever love his or her own children.

Grow up, is my point. If you want to remain in a state of stunted growth and law driven, guilt grounded, fearful Christianity, knock yourself out.

How do you get people to grow up?

Jason:

Look at Galatians Chapter 4.  This is Paul’s point.  Whether you feel it or not, Christ has come.  The Law has been put to death.  This is where we are.  The old is over.  The new has come.  I realized that my experience of the Gospel needed to be formed by where we are now.  We have passed this point.  I am under the New Covenant.  For those that struggle with this, read Hebrews.  Read Galatians.  People are afraid to get there.  This is where we are.  This is liberating.  I do not need to fear condemnation anymore.

Rich:

You mention in your book:

The real question is how that power is exercised, and if God is just like Jesus, the answer is that God exercises his power in a way that is kenotic and cruciform.

Explain what you mean by this.

Jason:

Cruciform is the shape of the cross.  Jesus was kenotic.  He emptied himself.  He took the form of a servant.  Jesus did not wield power.  He could have.  This is not how Christ exercised power.  Jesus exercised power that is meek, self-emptying and full of compassion.

Rich

You mention in your book:

The gospel is not about an angry judge for giving our sins by venting his fury on an innocent victim – it’s about bridging the gap that separated the divine and human, the sacred and secular, by means of a co suffering God man in whose self-giving love we are called to participate.

How do you get people to discover this?

Jason:

There is another model:  participation in the Divine love of the Godhead!  It comes back to the Trinity.  The Trinity and the Incarnation changed me.  I seek out practices that emphasize these things.

Rich:

I see that you like Chesterton.

As Chesterton said we should thank God for beer and burgundy by not drinking too much of them.

Why do you like this quote?  What is the main point you want to emphasize?

Jason:

God has given us food, wine, sex, other things as a blessing.  Don’t over indulge in blessings.  There must be regulations.  Regulations are part of the enjoyment.  This is how it works.  This is how they can be enjoyed.

Rich:

Jason, this is my last question.  You mention:

Is misfit faith about love or suffering? Feasting or fasting? Divinity or humanity? Heaven or earth? The answer is yes, to all of it.

I would rather embrace way too much than way too little, because something tells me that as wide as I can open my arms and heart, gods are always open wider.

Any last-minute words you want to say about what is misfit faith?

Jason:

It is this.  It is not about choosing between heaven and earth, sacred and the secular.  Christ is central.  It is not an either/or scenario.  Misfit faith is about both/and.  I want it all.  I want to embrace this!

Rich:

Thank you so much Jason!  I hope others enjoy Misfit Faith as much as I did.  Good luck on Misfit Faith’s release!

 

 

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